


How Did We Get Here (And Where Are We Going)

by GhostOfAFern



Series: The CEO of pegoryugoro is here to feed you [4]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akechi Goro Lives, Akechi Goro Redemption, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, Polyamory, kurusu akira stays with sojiro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:48:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24318334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostOfAFern/pseuds/GhostOfAFern
Summary: After spotting a particular scar on his body, Goro reflects on his past.(Backstory for my shuakeryu/pegoryugoro fics)
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji, Akechi Goro/Sakamoto Ryuji, Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji
Series: The CEO of pegoryugoro is here to feed you [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1717375
Comments: 6
Kudos: 114





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an explanation for the universe my pegoryugoro fics take place in. It's a lot longer than the other ones so get comfy.

The sound of running water was one Goro found akin to static. Constant, overwhelming, unsubstantiated. He was plagued with listening to it drone on as he waited for the water to heat up. His apartment building never gave you hot water from the moment you turned the tap.

He stood in front of the mirror, towel wrapped around his waist, staring at his chest. He looked so...damaged. There were dark spots all over his torso and arms, white knotted flesh snaking along different sections of his body, jagged scars from his makeshift stitches.

He couldn’t place most of his injuries’ origins if you’d asked him, nothing beyond a simple, “metaverse.” Except for one.

One of the spots on his skin stood out. It was darker than the others, the edges jutting out. It was the most prominent, memorable injury he ever suffered, one he felt he truly and fully deserved.

It was a gunshot wound. Right on the edge of his rib cage. The final injury from the boiler room. 

There wasn’t much time for Goro to think of something to do. The barrel of a gun was pointed at his face. He had hoped this day would end differently, his heart and mind starting to sway from his fight with the phantom thieves. 

There wasn’t much time for Goro to think, but even then he had still considered jumping over the partition.

He didn’t.

The irony in him being killed by a cognitive double of himself after having attempted suicide twice in his life before backing out both times was striking. 

He always knew he’d go out eventually by his own hands, but he’d give credit where it was due, this wasn’t what he pictured. 

The begging and shouting of the thieves fell on him like white noise. He shouted his last wishes to them, and Joker’s confirmation was all he needed.

He smiled as his eyes fell lazily to his double. He hadn’t the strength to win this fight, but he’d be damned if Goro Akechi was to go down without fighting. The end of his gun was unfocused, shaking from side to side as his weak arms tried to hold it steady.

His cognitive double flared sharply at him, still clutching the wound he’d sustained, and aimed as precisely as one could aim.

That was the last thing he saw.

The bullet had landed in his chest, just below his lungs. Not that he would have noticed, there was so much blood pooling in his throat at that point for him to care.

Goro Akechi had taken countless lives, but he’d never experienced death himself. He’d always wondered what it would feel like. The results were conclusive.  _ Fucking horrible. _

_ Red. Do people see red when they die? No...that was white, wasn’t it? Why is everything so red…? Why is… _

Goro felt water running across his body. Was this what hell felt like? It was surprisingly calming. 

_ And then it started. _

There were overwhelmingly loud creaks and booms, the ground beneath him was tilting. He sat up. His mask. Everything was red because of his mask. 

He was alive.  _ He was alive? _

Another distant explosion. 

_ You won’t be in a minute. _

He thought about collapsing back on the floor. What right did he have being alive? Why not drown himself now? Save everyone the trouble.

But Goro’s body disobeyed him. With plain disregard for his shattered bones and broken body, his arms picked himself up, and his legs started running.

He wasn’t even cognizant of the choice to move, only the splitting pain that came as a result. And  _ god  _ did it hurt. everything in his body was bloody broken or bruised and he still ran. 

A desperation welled inside of him. He wanted to get out. Get  _ out just get out!  _ He couldn’t make sense of where he even was. He just knew he needed to move. Go against the tilt of the ship, please for the love of god  _ go. _

Tears spilled over his face, he wasn’t sure if from the pain or from sheer instinctual terror. He couldn’t stop. He couldn’t stop. He needed to go.

And then, as he neared the top, there was an explosion, and he blacked out.

He didn’t understand how he was able to cheat death the way he did, but the concrete beneath his bloody body was evidence enough. The adrenaline that flooded his veins was absent. He couldn’t bring himself to move a single muscle.

His vision was blurry. He couldn’t make out much of anything, except for a yellow blur a few meters away. Goro’s eyes fell heavy, and his consciousness faded. He couldn’t help but wonder if this was where he finally died, bleeding out on the sidewalk in front of the Diet building. He felt he should’ve stayed and died in the palace. Nobody would’ve had to find him.

“Akechi-kun?!” He lost consciousness.

“Does he have any relatives we can contact?”

“Not that I know of. We weren’t very well acquainted. Apologies.”

“That’s quite alright. Thank you for bringing him in.”

The door closed. Goro’s eyes fluttered open. He was in a...hospital? There was a nurse at the foot of the bed filling out a clipboard.

He tried to choke out a question, but only managed a weak groan. It sufficed to get the nurse’s attention.

“Oh goodness, you’re conscious already?” He sputtered, walking over to him. “Please don’t try to talk, there’s blood in your lungs, and you have a broken rib.”

Goro began to notice the tubed and machines sticking out of his body. He tested his arm, it barely moved before he ran out of strength. 

“I’m sorry Akechi-san, but please don’t try to move. You...have quite a remarkable number of fractures, and we’ve had to give you quite a few stitches.”

His gaze fell to the bandages on his arm, then to the cast on his leg.

“Please just rest for now, I’m only a nurse, but the doctor will be in shortly.”

Goro couldn’t even comprehend his current situation. Had he broken his leg before or after dashing across the ship? How in the world did he even get to the hospital?

A doctor arrived in his room not long after. She went over his injuries, stating that he would need to stay in the hospital for quite a while. The thought filled him with dread. He was completely imobile, couldn’t move his limbs at all. His breathing was strained, and everything in him  _ hurt.  _ The pain was only made even remotely bearable by the volume of pain relievers he was on.

It was about a full week before he managed to speak again, and he was only able to choke out a few words at a time. It was enough to tell the nurse he had no family to contact. He didn’t figure anyone wanted to see him anyway.

But someone came to see him anyway. It was early January when Sae walked into his hospital room.

“It’s...actually you.” She said quietly.

“Sae-san? How...did you…”

“I found out through a co-worker.” Sae explained. “You don’t know each other, but he recognized you and brought you here. He kept it to himself to avoid being harassed by news teams, but I got it out of him after a while.”

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence. 

“Why...did you....come visit...me…” Goro asked hoarsely. 

“Well…” Sae looked to the floor, a pain in her eyes. “It’s true you hurt...a lot of people. Including me...but when the phantom thieves told me you had died I…” Her posture opened up slightly. “I didn’t want to believe it. Frankly, I didn’t want to believe any of what they told me about you...but…”

“...Sae…” Akechi swallowed hard. “...I’m...sorry…” 

“Don’t…! Don’t give me that. Not now. You can apologize to  _ all of us _ when you’re well again.” She demanded.

Goro frowned. “I don’t…” He thought of how to phrase it. “...Don’t tell any...one...I’m here...please…” He begged.

“What? Why?” Sae startled. “Akechi, there’s missing posters for you on the station bulletins. Our co-workers are confused about your absence. Akira-kun…” She stopped herself.

Goro’s eyes widened. “...Akira?” 

Sae sighed. “Akira-kun...didn’t handle your  _ death  _ very well. In fact, all of the thieves were put off afterwards. Even Sakamoto-kun...though he’d deny it.” 

“I...thought they...would…”

“I won’t share with anyone that you’re here if you don’t want me to. But...I encourage you to give it some thought.” Sae sighed, and left the room without another word.

Goro was allowed to discharge from the hospital earlier than expected. He had to use crutches for a while longer, waiting for his broken leg to heal. He was more than happy to finally get out of the hospital, to go home, to just forget the whole thing happened instead of taking residence in a constant reminder of it.

But when Goro reached his apartment, and sat down on his bed, he couldn’t help but feel a strong  _ emptiness.  _ Only Sae knew he was alive. He wanted it to stay that way, to let himself fade into obscurity. 

His mind was clouded with grim thoughts, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was  _ supposed _ to die in that engine room. His survival was miraculous, and every step of the way he found himself hoping that  _ this _ would finally be the part that killed him off.

But it never was.

Every second of his ridiculous plan Goro wanted something to kill him. He wanted an excuse, a way out, he wanted to just die conveniently early before he managed to irreparably destroy anything that ever made him happy for a slim shot at satisfaction. 

And he never did. Nothing ever killed him.

He fell backwards onto the mattress, staring absently at the ceiling. Where the hell was he supposed to go now? He could just stay here, rot away, doing nothing until he died of starvation. He hadn’t tried that one before, starvation, though, he figured it was a painfully prolonged way to go out.

After over a month in the hospital, Goro found himself blackened with suicidality. He wanted nothing more than to never have to experience his miserable existence ever again. But he couldn’t bring himself to get up.

He thought about how Shido probably accepted he’d died without a second thought. He thought about how the public probably forgot he’d even existed. He thought about Sae. He thought about how she said Kurusu had taken his death poorly.  _ Why? What reason did Kurusu have to care about him? _

He sat up. He wanted something else now, he wanted to see Akira Kurusu. Desperately. He  _ needed  _ to see him.

He opened his phone, and stopped as he saw the phantom theive’s group chat in his history. He no longer had access to it. 

He scrolled past his chat history with Shido, and opened his messages with Akira.

What the hell was he supposed to say? “Hey I’m alive?” Was he just supposed to show up without warning? There wasn’t really a proper way to deal with this situation, and he dropped his phone to his side, choosing to indulge in a heavy sigh.

The universe had spared his life too many times for him to just do nothing. He needed to do something right for the first time in his life.

“Make sure you close up.” Sojiro nodded at Akira before heading home.

He would remind him out of habit, but at this point, Akira knew how to run just about everything in the store without needing to think.

When Akira’s probation was about to end, Sojiro had noticed his hesitance in going home. After raising Futaba, he’d grown to have a good eye for trauma, and had read it clear as day on Akira’s face every time he was asked about his home.

The first time he was questioned about it, he kept quiet. Akira’s responses were vague, untelling, not giving any specific details and preferring to talk about the scenery instead of the people.

After a few sit downs with Sojiro, he began to share more about his life. He explained that his parents had an unstable marriage, and had been fighting with each other for as long as he could remember.

He explained that he was the youngest of three children, being birthed from an accidental pregnancy. His parents didn’t keep this a secret, regularly bringing up the burden of him existing during their arguments. 

When he was younger, he explained, he was no stranger to being forgotten. He often had to walk home by himself, and relied on his siblings for many of his meals.

He had left out the part where he would sneak out at night to get away, or sometimes, to steal, a skill that came in handy in the metaverse.

Sae and Sojiro had put in the legwork to transfer custody of Akira over to Sojiro. 

They had revealed it to Akira the day he was meant to go home, causing a smile to overtake him, and he cried into Sojiro’s shoulder as he hugged him tightly. Sojiro would never admit how much it had warmed his heart.

Helping out around Leblanc as much as possible was the least he could do to repay him.

Interrupting his thoughts, the bell to Leblanc’s door gently chimed. Did Sojiro not flip the sign?

“Hey sorry…” He looked up. “But we’re-”

Akira’s heart sank into his stomach, he felt lightheaded, cold, confused. Goro was standing in the entryway, nervously looking towards the floor, balanced on a pair of crutches.

“...Hey.” He offered. 

“A…” Akira could barely get a syllable out before his eyes began watering, breath shaking. “Akechi!” He bolted around the counter and threw himself into hugging Goro.

“Careful! I’m on crutches!” Goro reminded, trying to steady himself.

“Sorry, I just…” Akira apologized without pulling away. “I thought you were...how are you here?”

Goro placed a hand on Akira’s shoulder, gently pushing him away.

“To be quite honest, I’m as shocked as you are. Seems that after mustering the little strength I had left to run to the surface, the palace explosion blasted me into reality.” He coughed gently, not used to talking. “I ended up in the hospital for a few months.”

“Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve visited-”

“I didn’t think you would be happy to hear I was still alive. Nor your friends.” He coughed again, this time a bit harder than the time before.

“Are you okay? You don’t sound very…”

“I haven’t exactly had a real conversation in months.” 

“Here, come, sit.” 

Akira fiddled around in the kitchen for a few minutes before placing a tea in front of Goro.

“I’m more of a coffee guy.” He sighed, sipping the cup.

“Tea’s good for your throat.” Akira answered, leaning onto the counter, looking at Goro.

His mind was racing. He’d almost felt like he was staring at a ghost, or simply dreaming of a time long past. He’d cemented that Goro was dead and there was nothing he could do about it. That was, until he walked through that door.

“You’re staring, Kurusu.” Goro mumbled.

Akira blinked at him. “Of course I am. I just served a dead man tea.” 

Goro sighed, and his eyes landed on his left hand. The scarring has gotten worse, more obvious, he’d wish he’d worn gloves.

“I just wish you’d called.” Akira sighed, picking at a splinter in the wooden counter.

Goro grimaced. “I don’t...understand you Kurusu.” He locked eyes with Akira, a sharp glare on his face. “What’s wrong with you? Any sane person would’ve been infuriated that I survived.”

“When have I  _ ever _ been normal, Goro?”

Goro flinched at Akira using his given name. 

“Fair point.” He softly chuckled and sipped his tea.

Akira couldn’t help but notice how  _ dead _ Goro looked. His hair was a mess, dark circles lied underneath his eyes. His lips were chapped and the vibrant and telling red eyes Goro had were now unfocused, tired.

“Hey...uh…” Akira started, nervously messing the back of his hair. “Do you maybe wanna...stay here for the night?” 

Goro hesitated, he was taken aback. His instinct was to decline, to go back to his deafeningly silent apartment and rot away like he’d planned...but his body wanted so badly to stay here. He wanted to stay as close to Akira as he possibly could. And the thought terrified him.

“I don’t…” He started, not quite sure how to even finish the sentence. He looked up at Akira, eyes pleading. “I...please.”

Akira’s couch wasn’t the most comfortable, but it was better than the loneliness of his apartment. Greeting Morgana had gone smoother than he expected, but he couldn’t help but feel contemption from the feline despite his pleasantries. 

Goro had his back out, and even though he tried to sleep, he couldn’t help but be stirred awake by his emotions. He didn’t want to admit how much this meant to him, to be around Akira, just in the same room. Goro felt a hole in his chest form. He wanted to lay in bed beside Akira, and not because the couch was uncomfortable.

As his thoughts raced and chest ached, he heard Akira get out of bed. His eyes widened, but he didn’t turn around, trying to pretend he was sleeping. 

He heard soft footsteps across the room, and then down the stairs. Akira took a call. Goro listened closely.

“Hey. Sorry I couldn’t call you sooner.” He spoke. “Yeah, no, the real deal. I can’t explain it either.”

Akira shuffled around the cafe as he spoke. 

“I mean, that’s the goal but I don’t wanna overwhelm him immediately.” He heard a glass clink.

“Maybe if it’s just you? I mean, if you can promise to go easy. He’s in crutches so...yeah. Yeah I know but I’m just saying.” Akira sighed heavily.

“Well yeah but...I didn’t figure you…” He paused. “Wait...seriously? I mean…” 

Goro creeped over to the top of the stairs looking down at Akira, who was sipping a glass of water and leaning on a table.

“No. I love you. You know that. It’s not…”

Wait...Akira was seeing someone? Or was he talking to a relative?

“Yeah. Don’t worry, it’s not like that. But are you comfortable with me doing that?” He perked up.

“As long as you’re okay with it. Yeah. Of course, but not tonight obviously. Ryuji, I know.” 

_ Oh. Kurusu was seeing Sakamoto.  _ Goro felt a chill down his body. Akira was off the market.  _ Why did that bother him so much? _

“Absolutely. I’ll let you know, okay? Ok. Thanks.” He finished off his glass and placed it into the sink.

“Okay. G’night Ryu. Love you.” Akira hung up the phone and started up the stairs, causing Goro to stumble over to the couch.

“Oh, you’re awake. Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Akira apologized.

“It’s fine. I was already awake.” He glanced to the floor. “That was Ryuji. You two are together?”

Akira flushed slightly. “Uh...yeah. We got together a bit after Valentine’s day, actually. Things just kinda...came out that night.” 

Goro nodded, a smile on his face, and a sinking feeling in his soul.

“Hey...Goro...I was thinking um…” He looked to the floor. “I just thought I’d offer, you can sleep in the bed with me if...if you’re comfortable with that.”

Goro shot to his feet. “I’d!” He stopped himself, noticing how sudden he was being. “I...I’d much prefer that. Thank you.”

“Morning, Goro.” Akira said, playfully tapping Goro’s face. 

After a few taps, Goro groaned awake. He took a moment to recognize his surroundings after falling asleep in a featureless hospital room for months.

“Akira?” He responded, looking at Akira smiling over him.

“Hey, there’s someone here to see you. Is that okay?” He warned. 

Goro shot up. “What? Who?”

“Ryuji.” 

That had made sense. Though, he had to admit the thought of seeing Ryuji caused him to tense a bit. Of all the thieves, he had been the  _ least  _ fond of him, or the most outspoken about it.

Akira disappeared downstairs with a promise of a short return. Morgana eyed him curiously from his seat on the desk.

When Akira brought him upstairs, Ryuji’s face was overwhelmed by an expression of complete shock and awe. Sure, being told the boy you watched die was in your boyfriend’s room was one thing, but actually seeing it for yourself was another story.

At first he was silent. He simply stood atop the stairs, cycling through a host of microexpressions as the gears in his head churned. 

“It’s really you.” He finally spoke. His tone was that of disbelief, but not without a bit of bite. His expression was longing, but stern. “God…” He snapped his head towards the wall, breaking his gaze with Goro. Tears welled in his eyes as he grimaced. “God damn you!”

Goro said nothing, only looked to Akira for some kind of reassurance, permission to even be in the same presence as Sakamoto.

Akira returned nothing.

Ryuji clenched his fists. He wanted to punch Akechi’s face, beat him senseless until he felt better about all the time he spent angry about his death, about his crimes, about how unfulfilled he left all of them. 

But every time he glanced back at him, he wanted to comfort him. Goro seemed pleading, leg in a cast and scars visible across every bit of skin he could see. 

Ryuji caved, letting repressed tears spill down his face, and leaning against the desk before Akira walked over to hold him.

“I hate you. I hate you so much. Everything you did to us, to the people I care about, to people who just didn’t deserve it.” He messily wiped tears from his face. “I wanted to hurt you so bad. I hated how much I did. But then you sacrificed yourself for us, and I just…” He looked up at Goro, who had a strange look of understanding. “I didn’t want you to die. I wanted to see who you were without Shido controlling you. Without lying to us.” He scoffed. “And I tried to move on from that, and everything I thought I’d left behind is coming back now.”

Ryuji sighed and broke from Akira’s hold.

“Why the hell do you have to be alive?” 

An uncomfortable silence filled the room. Nobody, not even Ryuji himself, had expected him to pour his feelings out like that. Everything he’d bottled up had been uncorked in the instant the two made eye contact. It was too much.

“If it were up to me…” Goro started. “I wouldn’t still be alive. I don’t know how or why I’ve survived time and time again...but I wish I hadn’t.” He sighed shakily. “Perhaps everything would’ve been easier for you if I’d-” He wasn’t going to finish that aloud. “No. Another time.”

Akira pulled a chair over to sit in front of Goro, Ryuji soon followed suit.

“I’m...sorry.” Ryuji began. “I can’t help but feel like an ass yelling at someone with a broken leg…”

“No.” Goro interjected. “Never in my life have I or will I  _ ever _ accept being shown pity.” He looked at Ryuji sternly, confidently. “I’ve hurt countless people, I don’t expect to be pardoned simply for having touched noses with death.” He looked to the side. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

Ryuji uncomfortably shifted. The atmosphere in the room thickened.

“Do you still want to hurt me?” Goro continued. “I wouldn’t protest if you were to get anything you have out right now.” He spoke with a calm remission.

Ryuji scoffed. “Hell no, dude. I don’t need to  _ hurt you _ to deal with my emotions.”

Akira smiled at that.

“Then what  _ do _ you want?” Goro asked hysterically. “Do you expect me to believe you’ll be perfectly happy without any sort of compensation for the harm I’ve done? If not for revenge then why are you here?”

“Because I want to be a part of this, dumbass!” Ryuji spat. “I want to see if you’ve changed. I want you to prove that to me.”

Goro’s eyes widened.  _ Had he changed?  _ He wasn’t even sure at this point.

“That’s right! We’ll be keeping a close eye on you! All of us.” Morgana piped up.

He sighed. He preferred a broken nose to being  _ babysat. _


	2. Chapter 2

“Oh.” Goro frowned at the expression Akira had made after sipping his brew. “It’s bad, then?” 

“It’s...definitely a beginner’s cup.” Akira chuckled. “But I’m sure you’ll get it.”

He slid the cup across the counter. Goro considered tasting it for a moment, before shaking his head and pouring it down the sink.

“Here, tag out. I’ll make you a cup.” Akira instructed as he traded places behind the counter.

“I know they say coffee’s an acquired taste, but man, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to drink it.” Ryuji sighed, taking a sip of cocoa. 

“I don’t think I could function without it.” Goro groaned. He was exhausted from meeting with each of the phantom thieves, especially when he had to speak with Haru. It was an uncomfortable exchange.

“Hey, so uh, Ake-Goro…” Ryuji winced slightly, still not used to using Goro’s given name. “When are you getting the cast off?” 

He glanced down at his broken leg. “I’m told It should come off in about a month. My other injuries kept me in the hospital long enough to cut off most of the healing time.”

“Oh, awesome. And hey uh...if you need any advice...I have a bit of experience with that.” Ryuji smiled nervously.

Goro was taken aback by the genuine concerned offer. He smiled in return.

“I’ll keep it in mind.”

After Goro began staying at Leblanc with Akira, Ryuji started visiting more and more often, before Sojiro was practically convinced that all three of them lived there. Not that he cared, he was used to having the thieves over all the time anyway, and the more hands to help around the cafe the better.

“So, Sakura-san,” Goro began.

“Please, kid. No need to be formal.” Sojiro chuckled. “Most people just call me boss.”

“Well then, boss,” Goro smiled. “I hear you have official custody over Akira?” 

“That’s right. He’s Akira Sakura now, most people still call him Kurusu though. Sae was a big help with that. After hearing about his home life…” Sojiro shook his head sorrowfully. “I couldn’t just stand there and send him back, y’know?”

Goro considered how different his life could’ve been if he had a figure like Sojiro in his life.

“I see, that’s quite honorable of you, you’ve taken in two children to care for on your own. You’re a good man.”

“Eh don’t give me so much credit. Akira practically takes care of himself, and I enjoy having the extra hand to help me around here.” Sojiro glanced over at Goro. “Speaking of which, do you mind helping out a bit tonight?”

Goro smiled at him. “Of course. It’s the least I can do.”

At first, Goro and Ryuji weren’t much help. Ryuji due to his clumsiness, and Goro due to his broken leg, but the two of them learned quickly, and Goro was eager to finally showcase his usefulness when the cast finally came off. 

Goro was hasty, and would finish many days with cramps in his legs. Ryuji was happy to share stretching and massaging techniques with him. 

The more time the three of them spent together, the more often Mona would find himself visiting Futaba and Haru. It took care of an annoyance for everyone, Morgana included.

There was never a definitive moment that Ryuji buried the hatchet with Goro, but after the past month and a half, there were so many layers of dirt on top he didn’t bother thinking about it.

Not all of the thieves forgave Akechi, but they all at the very least were pleasant in his company, and that was more than enough for him.

After a month and a half of everything going well, Akira could swear he’d reached his happily ever after.

“The fuck!?” Ryuji pushed Akira off of him, jumping to his feet with an expression of anger and confusion.

Akira couldn’t help but be just as shocked with himself. Confessing your feelings for one of your friends while cuddling your boyfriend was  _ beyond  _ bad form.

“Ryuji...I…” He was so dumbfounded he had no idea what to say.

“Dammit! I knew you still had feelings for him!”

“It’s not like that! Look it just slipped out-”

“‘Just slipped out’ my ass. I’ve seen the way you two are together, but I effin trusted you!”

“There is  _ nothing  _ between us! He doesn’t even know that I…” Akira clenched his fists. “Yeah. Okay. I have feelings for him, but I’m with  _ you! _ I’m loyal to  _ you! _ If I could erase those feelings I would, I kept them to myself so I wouldn’t hurt you...and now they’ve come out and I…”

“Yeah...yeah...no, I get it...I’m sorry.” Ryuji sighed, leaning back into Akira. “I’m just scared of losing you. You’re my everything, Kira.” 

Akira nuzzled into his shoulder, mumbling another apology, holding onto Ryuji like he’d be gone forever if he let go.

“Actually...I…” Ryuji started. “As long as we’re being honest? I...might also have feelings for him.”

Goro stared at his shoes, expression souring and posture growing defensive. “This is a joke, right? Your sick little revenge plan has finally reached its climax, and you want to see just how far you can take it.” He scoffed. 

“Goro, stop it.” Akira pleaded.

“I’m not an idiot, Akira!” Goro growled. “I’ll give you credit. Inviting me to a poly relationship is quite original but it’s far too outlandish for me to fall for.”

“It’s not a damn joke!” Ryuji shouted. Goro remained unphased.

“We’re being genuine.” Akira assured. “You have to remember what we shared before you…”

“I  _ hated _ you. Whatever you chose to read into it isn’t my responsibility.”

“Oh really?! You hated me? Is that what inviting me to dinner means? Is that what showing up weekly to play chess with me was?” 

Goro’s expression cracked slightly, but remained a scowl.

Akira sprung to his feet, digging through his drawer, yanking something from it, and throwing it at Goro with full force.

It took a moment to process what was thrown at him, before he looked down and realized.  _ It was one of his gloves. _

“You...kept it? After all this time?” Goro asked in disbelief. 

“Of course I kept it! It was the only goddamn thing I had left of you! I never got to…” He strained. “I never got to tell you how I felt back then.”

Ryuji stared in awe. He knew Akira had a complicated relationship with Goro, but never pressed him on it, as it depressed him to talk about.

“I’ve…” Akira began laughing softly. “I’ve loved both of you for a long time. But you both just... _ hated _ each other so much and I...whatever. This is stupid. If you want to convince yourself we’re lying so you can continue getting satisfaction from your misery I-”

“I believe you.” Goro had the glove in his hand still, recounting the night he gave it to Akira. “I just, I need some time to process this. Is that alright?”

Ryuji and Akira nodded, and made their way downstairs.

As soon as they reached the bottom, Goro broke into tears. He couldn’t begin to accept the situation he had been thrown into. Akira and Ryuji were in love with him? He supposed he’d always had feelings he couldn’t quite place for Akira, but Ryuji?

Ryuji had hated him for a long time, but for the past few months, he always wanted Ryuji to be there too. He had offered Goro so much care and assistance nursing his injuries, and began treating him as a friend quicker than expected.

A thought flashed in Goro’s mind of the two wrapping their arms around him. Comfort, warmth,  _ safety.  _ A hand wiped off tear tracks as he chuckled to himself. What kind of mess had he gotten himself into  _ this  _ time?

Goro emerged at the bottom of the stairs around half an hour later. His face was blank, emotionless, and he walked towards the two slowly, measuring his breaths before he spoke.

“I apologize for lashing out at you. That was...uncalled for.” He refused to make eye contact with either of them. “I’m...I’m trying to work on trusting people, on being honest with people...like you wanted me to.”

Akira smiled sweetly.

“So uh...did you...think about our offer?” Ryuji asked hopefully.

“I did…” Goro sighed and looked up at them. Their eyes showed no hint of deceit, and he thought himself a fool for ever suspecting them of such a thing. “And I would like to. But, I don’t know if I can. I don’t know how any of this works. I don’t think I’m fit to-”

“That’s okay.” Akira interrupted. “We can take things slow.”

Ryuji and Akira enveloped him in a hug, and it was just as he expected.  _ Secure. _

Goro was a bit confused when he awoke. On one side, arms were wrapped around his waist and a face was nuzzled into his shoulder. On the other side, fingers intertwined with his own and his face met with another, obscured by raven locks.

He sleepily brushed the bangs out of Akira’s face, smiling gently at him. 

“Morning, Goro.” Akira mumbled as his eyes fluttered open.

Goro couldn’t see Ryuji from behind, but he could feel his warmth against his back.

“Did you sleep well?” Akira asked, rubbing his thumb against the side of Goro’s hand.

“I can’t remember falling asleep.” He answered vaguely. “Waking up was...nice.” 

“We’re still doing that part.” Akira chuckled as he yawned.

“W...wazzup?” Ryuji slurred as he awoke. 

“We’re waking up is what.” Akira stretched as he sat up, Ryuji following suit.

Goro felt a panic in his chest spark as the two boys pulled away from him. He held back the urge to grab at them and never let go, instead opting to follow their lead and sit up as well.

Akira briefly smiled thinking about his old bed, and how much of a nightmare it would’ve been to fit all three of them on that mattress.

“Thank god it’s a sunday.” Ryuji sighed.

“It won’t be for long, c’mon.” Akira motioned.

“Hey Goro, you’re comin out with us today, right?” Ryuji asked, throwing on a shirt.

“Oh, I didn’t realize I was…” He stumbled to his feet, trying to keep weight off of his bad leg. “Where are we going then?”

“You’ll see.” Akira smirked. He threw a coat on and nodded to the stairs.

As the three of them headed towards the door, Sojiro raised an eyebrow at them.

“Where are you three headed off to this time?” He questioned.

“Good question.” Goro muttered.

“Just running a few errands. We’ll be back later.” Akira explained.

Goro walked with his head down, nervously rubbing his thumb against the scars trailing his hands. He’d begun wishing he had worn a pair of gloves.

“You alright?” Akira asked softly, hand on his shoulder. “We’re right here with you.”

Goro let out a shaky breath. “It’s just...it’s been a while.” 

“That’s the reason we wanted you to come out with us today. It can’t be good for you to stay inside all day every day.” Ryuji explained. “And now that your leg’s better we figured…”

“What if-” Goro’s voice caught in his throat and he lowered his voice. “What if someone recognizes me?”

Akira pulled Goro close to him. “It’s been a long time since you were in the public eye, and your missing persons case was silently closed after Sae saw you in the hospital. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Goro sighed, his fear was still there, but Ryuji was right, he couldn’t just stay inside all day.

“So.” Goro started. “Where are we going then?”

“We gotta up pick some stuff for-”

Akira nudged Ryuji in the chest.

“We’re just getting some groceries, thought maybe we’d get some lunch after. Sound okay to you?” He explained.

Goro gave them a look, he absolutely noticed they were hiding  _ something, _ but he couldn’t be sure what. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

The subway ride to Shibuya was, to say the very least, unpleasant. Goro had to remind himself that he used to do this  _ every day _ when the smallest nudge or shift from another passenger activated his fight or flight response. 

Akira noticed, and grabbed his hand, giving him a look that said “I’m here.”

Luckily, it was over about as quick as it started. He caught himself on Ryuji as he was shoved onto the platform.

“Watch your step.” Akira quipped.

Goro realized how he never really noticed just how crowded every part of Tokyo really was. The burning feeling of every pair of eyes that landed on him however, was all too familiar.

The errands were quick enough, and as promised, they went to get lunch together. 

Goro immediately recognized the place they arrived at. It was the same cafe he’d taken Akira to on their first outing together.

“This is…” Goro started. Akira offered him a smirk.

“What, you know this place?” Ryuji asked.

“I introduced Akira to this place. We came here together not too long after we met…”

The three of them sat down.

“Man, you guys have a lot of history together, huh?” Ryuji noted, somewhat somberly.

“We have a lot of history too.” Akira reminded him.

“We could’ve spent more time together, had you not been so apprehensive...though you might’ve been wise in that…” Goro sighed, before looking back up at him with a smile. “But we’re making new memories together now. Right?”

Ryuji nodded. “Right.”

“I’m glad I came out with you both today.” Goro assured. “Is it alright if I join you more often?”

“Oh yeah! Sure!” Ryuji cheered. “Man, who knew you had such a sweet tooth though.”

Goro embarrassedly chuckled. “It used to be a bit of an act I put on for TV, but I ended up liking sweet things after all.”

Ryuji laughed brightly. “Alright, well I gotta head home. It was...really nice to see you though.”

“Hm? Why not stay with us another night?” Goro asked. “I mean, if it’s alright with Akira.”

“Goro.” Akira raised an eyebrow at him. “School starts up again tomorrow.”

As if Goro wasn’t embarrassed  _ enough _ in this conversation.

“Ah, right.” His chest sank a little. He’d somehow managed to let himself grow accustomed to constant company. This would be his first time being alone a whole day in months.

He could always spend the day helping Boss around at the cafe, he supposed.

“Shall we be going then?” 

Akria kissed Ryuji goodbye. After a moment of hestitence, Ryuji kissed Goro on the cheeck before waving and heading onto the subway.

“Morgana? What are you doing here?” Akira asked as he was greeted by the two of them at the top of the stairs.

“I have some news for you. I...won’t be joining you at school tomorrow. I’ll be staying with Futaba. It’s her first time at high school and...I wanna be there for her.” Morgana explained.

“Ah, I see.” Akira kneeled down and scratched behind Morgana’s ears. “I somehow manage it. You protect her if she gets bullied, mkay?”

Morgana nodded and sat up straight. 

“You know Akechi, Haru and Makoto may have already graduated, but they’ll be seeing the others off tomorrow morning. Will you be there?” Morgana asked.

“Oh...I don’t know if it’s really my place to…”

“C’mon Goro,  _ please?  _ Come kiss me goodbye at the school gates. Pretty please?” Akira teased with a smirk. He could swear he heard Morgana gag.

“Geez, fine. Quit that.” Goro scoffed.

“See you tomorrow then?” Morgana nodded at them.

“You sure they won’t be upset at my intrusion?” Goro sighed as he stepped off the platform.

“They may not be buddy-buddy with you but they don’t hate you, Goro. It’s fine.”

Ryuji spotted them at the station and ran to catch up.

“Hey you two!” He greeted excitedly.

“You’re uncharacteristically chipper for the first day of school.” Goro noted.

“I’m just happy to see you both is all. Besides, I have high hopes for this year. Thanks to our work as phan-”

Akira elbowed Ryuji in the stomach.

“Ow! Sorry...”

“Ah yes, your school’s gone through quite a bit of reform since last year hasn’t it?” Goro questioned.

“Yeah. Once that shit was exposed they had to choice but to do something for their image.”

They walked up to the school gates to find Makoto, Ann, Futaba, Haru, Yusuke, Mona, and Sumire waiting.

“Hey guys!” Ryuji called out.

The others looked over with smiles before shifting to surprise and confusion when they saw Goro.

“Akechi-senpai! What a pleasant surprise!” Sumire said with a smile.

“I wasn’t expecting you to come.” Makoto mentioned.

“Sorry if I’m a bother, this one here was practically clinging to my leg begging me to come.” Goro explained.

“Yusuke? What are you doing here?” Ryuji questioned.

“I wasn’t going to miss a chance for us to meet together for such an occasion. My class doesn’t start for another hour.” 

“Oh wow, the gang’s all here!” A voice called out.

“Oh, Mishima-kun!” Ann waved him over.

“Nishima? You go here too?” Futaba shouted in surprise.

“What? Akira said I was in...nevermind...I’m surprised to see even the graduates here, but I suppose nothing separates the team, huh?”

“We’re just friends this time, nothing more.” Akira reminded. “And being just friends means you’re part of the group too.”

Mishima smiled brightly. “Huh, I guess you’re right! Well, I won’t dissapoint you!”

Akira chuckled. “Bring it down a notch, Yuuki.”

Mishima flushed and cleared his throat.

“Oh! Let’s take a picutre!” Haru cheered.

“Here, I’ll take it for you.” Goro offered.

“No, it’s okay, I can take it!” Mishima shouted.

Goro sighed and stepped back. 

“Goro?” Ryuji called. “C’mon, get in here!” 

Goro smiled weakly. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he was intruding where he didn’t belong. Inserting himself in a group that didn’t want him. But he didn’t argue, merely kept a healthy distance between the other members of the group.

The train home was miserable. He insisted he’d be fine going back on his own, but Goro could feel every eye that sliced across him, every deafening whisper about what he would assume had to be him. 

He’d wondered how he’d let himself become so fragile, so codependent when he would once bite down on a cloth before stitching his own wounds with a sewing needle.

Goro had spent most of his life that way. Completely alone, reliant on nobody by himself, always on guard and prepared for any affection that was offered to him to be snatched away as quickly as it arrived.

So how, how had he gotten so comfortable with Akira and Ryuji? How had he so quickly convinced himself that he could trust them, that they wouldn’t leave the second they realized how  _ impossible _ he was to love. His chest ached at the thought, he’d promised himself he wouldn’t let himself get attached to anyone. Not ever again. He had to be prepared to lose anyone and anything.

When he found himself standing in front of cafe Leblanc, his soles glued themselves to the pavement, refusing to release their adhesive and causing his thoughts to swarm like hungry, enraged wasps. Loud, aggressive,  _ terrifying. _

How had this become the place he returned to when instructed to go home? 

When was the last time he even went back to his apartment?

The second the thought came to him his feet began moving on their own, back the direction they came, off to the subway station.

A smell of dust assaulted Goro as he opened the door. The apartment was just as he’d left it, completely untouched. A feeling of loneliness permeated in the air, his eyes landing on the metal case beside the door, sporting his emblem.

He let the door fall closed behind him, hands running across the counters and walls as he walked toward the bedroom. 

He found his sheets a mess, and old clothes tossed haphazardly over a chair. The last time he was here was to pick up a few miscellaneous belongings. He’d spent almost the entire day deciding what was important to keep and what he’d prefer to leave behind. A piece of him had truly believed, or perhaps hoped, that he would never return. 

A part of him felt like it had been lied to as he set foot within the small home. Like he had broken a promise he’d been too terrified to make. 

A piece of him knew he’d have to return one day, but he hadn’t expected it would be of his own volition. 

He thought he’d be treated to the sinking feeling that infected every wall after being forced out by Akira.

Goro massaged the scars on his hand as he sighed. What was he doing here? Resigning himself to misery before anyone could push him into it? Leaving before Akira and Ryuji had the chance to force him?

His eyes landed on the closet, where he could see his old school uniform hanging. He never got a chance to officially graduate.

“Woah, uh…hey Goro…” Akira greeted in confusion, seeing Goro standing in the center of the room, arms crossed, dressed in his school uniform. 

“Akira, I think I should attend high school again.” He said plainly. “I never graduated. So...why don’t I attend high school with you?” 

Akira blinked at him, and sat down on his sofa. He crossed one of his legs, and spoke calmly. “What do you want to do with your life, Goro? Do you still want to be a detective? Or…”

“I don’t think I sh…” Goro stopped. What  _ were _ his plans? “I don’t think it’d be wise for me to be a detective. I doubt I’d be welcomed back, after all.”

“But I mean, do you still want to?”

Goro didn’t answer. He winced and sat beside Akira, who wrapped his arm around him.

“I do. It made sense to me...but…”

“Then why don’t we start with that? No point in you retaking a year of high school if you only missed the last quarter, especially if they’ll take you in without it.”

“No! That’s-” Goro cleared his throat in apology. “I’m sorry...I just, I don’t want to be the  _ detective prince _ anymore. I can’t go back to that.”

Akira nodded. “I get it. But I’m sure Sae would be happy to help us get you back into the business.” He looked to the floor. “I mean, if you want to.”

Sae was pleased to hear Goro wanted to return to detective work, promising to get him back in without the media getting a hold of him.

Goro enjoyed the work far more than he thought he would, without Shido looming over his shoulder and the media completely absent, he was able to lose himself in his work, letting each case absorb him and letting him use his mind in a way that wasn’t deceit.

After about ¾ of the school year had gone by, Akechi decided to attend Shujin with Akira. He was nervous about being recognized at first, but most people seemed to have moved on by then, and those who did recognize him were either too intimidated to approach him, or were chased off by Akira and Ryuji.

He was off put by how long the two of them had been with him, truly caring for him and respecting every boundary.

But Goro’s walls eroded naturally with every hug, every kiss, every morning when he woke up in Akira’s arms, and every “I love you.”

Goro found himself thinking everything had gone too well for him. Every time he expected the “too good to be true” twist, it never came. 

And, after a while, Goro moved everything out of his old apartment with a smile, and into his, Akira’s, and Ryuji’s apartment.

_ Knock, knock, knock. _

Goro snapped out of his stupor. He’d gotten so lost in thought remembering his past, he hadn’t been sure how long he stood staring at the scars.

“Goro? You good man? You’ve been in there for a while now.” Ryuji shouted past the door.

“Ah.” He chuckled. “Yes, just lost in thought, apologies. I won’t be much longer.”

“No worries, just making sure you’re okay.”

And as Goro traced over the scars on his torso, smiling to himself, he felt confident. 

“I’m doing wonderful.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THAT'S A WRAP! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I liked writing it. That's the backstory for my pegoryugoro fics. And now back to your regularly scheduled program.


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